Education Tips

Mother and Daughter Bonding for Mother's Day

Parenting is always challenging and rewarding at the same time. As our children grow into their teen years, it gets even more challenging because bonding with them gets harder in terms of connecting and having quality time. Plus, our children are in a different generation where the challenges, pressures and experiences are different from those we had to live. All of this makes it a bit more difficult to have a good mother and daughter bonding on a regular basis.

The good news is that we can always find ways to bond with our teen daughter. Below are a few tips that can help bridge that generation gap between your daughter and yourself. Moms Buzz believes this would a great Mother's Day gift from you to yourself!

Plan daily or weekly get-togethers. These could be anything from a weekly walk or hike, to having coffee or lunch together to signing up for volunteering activities to maximize the feel-good together factor. Pick activities you know you can both enjoy, and try to choose things that give you something to discuss or allow you to talk if you want to.

Ask what's going on in her life and yours. Remember that talking about what's going on with school, friends, and extracurriculars helps you feel more connected to her. Although you may feel you know what's going on, there is always something new or something you did not know about. The same applies to you and your daily life.

Talk about your values. It can be awkward to discuss the tough stuff when it relates directly to you or her, but it's a lot easier to talk about general ideas, such as prejudice and discrimination, materialism, war, poverty, love, the environment, and countless other things happening in the world every day.

Don't get mad, stay even (even tempered, that is!). Of course there will be times when you guys don't agree. The key is to do it with respect. Instead of letting disagreements disintegrate into shouting matches, try to keep your cool and rationalize or make compromises. It's not always easy, but it's the best way to keep respect. If tempers do flare out of control, apologies in a loving and respectful way go to great lengths and results.

Although Mother's Day is still a couple of weeks away, you can start working now on your gift to yourself so that on Mother's Day, you can really feel the difference!

Sex Education Tips

The way you are going to speak with your child about sex greatly depends on your child’s or teen’s age, some personal qualities and many other factors. However, there are some general tips parents should take into consideration when discussing with their children matters related to sex

1. Try to speak and behave naturally, like you are speaking about anything else
   
   
2. Avoid long and didactic lectures on human sexuality and physiology. Usually a child cannot maintain his attention for a long time, he wants to ask questions and to get simple and short and answers
   
   
3. If your daughter or son uses improper words that patiently explain to him or her what these words mean and why they should not be pronounced. For example, you can say “Other people would not like to hear such words” “I do not think this is the best way to tell what you are feeling”. Anger or jokes as a reaction to improper words said by a child usually provoke the child to repeat such words again and again
   
   
4. Even preschool children should know how to protect themselves against sexual violence. This means you must teach your child to say “no” when necessary. A kid should be aware that some adults are dangerous, and he must not be afraid to refuse going somewhere with a maniac
   
   
5. You should begin speaking about sexual maturation long before your child’s adolescence. Some physiological changes (including menstruations and pollutions) might occur even before a girl or a boy is ten years old
   
   
6. Boys should be told about menstruations, and girls should know what pollutions are. Do not neglect discussing such matters as homosexuality and prostitution. Anyway, your child will learn about these phenomena from TV programs or Internet articles. It is quite natural that such problems arouse children’s interest
   
   
7. Tell your child about AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, but try to do this taking into consideration your child’s reactions. There is not necessity to frighten a five or a six year child by telling him about death AIDS usually ends with. On the other hand, it will be no good if you put off this conversation until your child reaches adolescence. Even small children should know what AIDS is and how it is transmitted
   
   
8. Answer all your child’s questions, do not say “You are too little to understand this”, otherwise he or she will stop trusting you. No question your child asks must remain without answer
   
   
9. If you do not know something, than do not be ashamed to admit this. Promise your child you will find out everything he or she is interested in and necessarily keep your promise
   
   
10. After you answer your child’s questions, make sure he understood what you said
    
    
11. Your child must be sure he is always welcome to ask his or her questions. Only in this case you will manage to create trustful atmosphere in your family and will prevent crucial mistakes your daughter might make.

Special Education Tips and Strategies

Right now the process of advocating for your child seems overwhelming. There are new relationships to build, IEPs to write, meetings to go to, and inevitable conflicts to negotiate. And then there’s the challenge of your child’s file. Remember as you gain experience the whole process will seem less daunting. Here are a few pointers to help you develop your skills in the some crucial areas. Remember, there’s no substitute for practice, but hopefully these quick tips will help you get started on the right foot.

Building Relationships

Knowing how to deal with people can make all the difference in successfully negotiating for your child. Here are some tips on how to deal with some of the more challenging individuals you might run into as you advocate:

• The job of a gatekeeper is to keep people from bothering their superiors with unnecessary questions. Remember that they’re doing their job, even when they’re making your job much more difficult. Getting angry with them won’t help. Try to present your case to them logically and be persistent. Call as many times a you need to in order to make headway, but always be polite.
• Make sure you have yourself under control whenever you engage in a conversation with anyone at your child’s school.
• Making people feel at ease with you is an incredible skill.
• When suggesting new ideas, do not attack. Acknowledge the power and skills of the person on the other side. Suggest that your ideas might make things go smoother, but do not insist. Be firm and confident, but not overly aggressive.
• Listen to people who know what they’re talking about, but make sure you know enough yourself to be certain of the accuracy of their statements. If you don’t know if what they’ve said is true, ask for some time to research.
• Seek to maintain a business relationship with your child’s school. Don’t bring too much personal information into your relationships.
• Remember that you are an outsider to the school culture. Treat it with respect. Even if you think you know all there is to know, someone will undoubtedly surprise you.
• Many school systems feel threatened by someone who is assertive and knowledgeable. When you speak or bring up points in writing, try to keep from threatening the knowledge or credibility of any members on your child’s team.

IEPs
IEPs (individualized education plans) are documents that plan how your child will receive a free, appropriate education. To make your child’s IEP effective, review the following as you work with your school system.

• Make sure you are familiar with Appendix A of the Federal Code of Regulations.
• Know your child’s current level of performance. Use objective data, such as psychology evaluations and tests.
• Know what specific goals and objectives, such as the exact behavior or skill, that you feel your child should attain. For example, if your child is having trouble reading at her grade level, know exactly at what grade level she is currently reading, her reading-level goal, and the date by when she should attain this goal. (A good argument for having a plan!)
• Question language that is vague or unclear. For example, insist that objective measurements (like test scores) be used to access your child’s success, not teacher statements or grades.
• Review and revise your child’s IEP at least once a year.
• Expect and hold the school to the agreed upon method of reporting your child’s progress.

Meetings
Meetings. They can be frustrating and terrifying. And yet, they can be the center of action for your child’s education. Learn to use them to the best of your advantage:

• Try to keep the conversation focused. Don’t allow the meeting to derail.
• Be positive. Suggest solutions. Don’t wait for someone else to come up with the next idea.
• Go to meetings with support. When both parents are present, they are more formidable and powerful opponents. If your spouse cannot be present, enlist another family member or friend to go with you.
• Suggest tape recording the meeting. Check your state’s regulations on this before suggesting it to the school.
• Treat everyone in the room, including yourself, with respect.
• Make eye contact.
• Don’t let yourself be rushed or bulldozed if you are running out of time. You can always schedule another meeting.
• Always debrief after the meeting. Write down what you remember, including key points and important resolutions. Add your own opinions. Do this immediately.
• Write a thank you. Use it not only to thank the school for their time and concern, but also as an opportunity to reiterate any open issues and key decisions.

Resolving Conflicts
Negotiating with your child’s school is not always easy. Here are a few pointers that might help you get what you want without making enemies.

• Don’t forget that in a lot of conflicts, both sides can be right.
• Keep in mind that many school systems fear the expense of special education programs.
• Try to see your requests from their side. Ask yourself how you and your child appear to the school. How can you bring both views into line?
• Always approach conflict with civility and respect for the person on the other side. Never seek to blame or find fault. Do not speak with scorn.
• Ask lots of questions so that you can understand the point of view from the other side. This will help you find solutions advantageous to both sides.
• Try to make your child seem as “real” as possible. Tell about your experiences with your child as a way to help people understand what your child really needs.
• Compromise may be the key to getting most of what you want, even if you can’t get all of what you want. (A good argument for making a plan that prioritizes what you want for your child.)
• Keep a paper trail. Even though litigation is never anyone’s first choice, being prepared for it can save you a lot of trouble later.

The FILE
The most important thing you can do in your efforts as an advocate is to keep records. And to keep them organized. Documentation is the only way you can truly know the progress your child is making and the way he is being treated by the school system. Documentation is also the only way you’ll be able to convince your child’s team of the validity of your child’s needs. When you develop your child’s file, keep the following pointers in mind:

• Keep a list of all the people who have ever seen your child for whatever reason. You can organize your list by services, for example, medical, psychological, etc. You can even be more detailed if your child has particular needs by organizing by specialty, for example, ophthalmology.
• Get a complete record of all your child’s medical files. You usually need to send a written request.
• Get a complete record of your child’s educational files. Again, you usually need to send a written request.
• Make copies. Never give your originals to anyone.
• Date all documents and file them in chronological order. This makes accessibility easy. You don’t have to remember the name of the doctor, clinic, or school.
• If you make notes (like dating) on your documents, use pencil.
• Use a three-ring notebook, so that you can easily add or access documents.
• Create a table of contents so that you know what you have.
• Add new information to your file immediately.